Thamali’s journey: Harnessing self-care and male allyship

For years, I believed my only role was to serve my family,” Thamali recalls. “Even though I loved dress-making, I told myself it could wait. My children and my husband had to come first.”

Despite these challenges, Thamali stayed connected with her village Women’s Society. When the UN Women Pathways to Peace project implemented by the Foundation for Innovative Social Development (FISD) was introduced, her friends urged her to join.

Through the project’s self-care training and women’s empowerment sessions, where participants learned about prioritizing personal well-being, Thamali began to see herself differently: “I realized that caring for myself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. When I’m healthy and happy, my whole family benefits.”

Based on FISD’s women’s collective model, the project empowers women to challenge harmful social norms and drive positive change in their communities. By fostering collaboration, the initiative encourages cross-cultural dialogue, promoting shared gender equality goals. These collectives engage in discussions on building relationships between spouses and among parents and children, equitable sharing of care work and strengthening social connections.

Thamali created a self-care plan focusing on physical, mental and personal growth, and making small but meaningful changes – taking time to rest, eat better, enjoy moments with her children and focus on her business.

“I started to value my work,” she says. “For the first time, I saw that my dreams mattered too.”

As her confidence grew, she invited her husband to join the project’s men’s discussions. At first, he refused. But after noticing the changes in his wife, he agreed to attend.

That same evening, something shifted. “He sat down with me and asked about my work, my dreams and the things that had been troubling me,” Thamali adds. “It was the first time in many years that he truly listened.”

Her husband later shared his reflections during one of the men’s sessions, admitting that he hadn’t supported Thamali’s ambitions or shared household responsibilities fairly. He spoke about how women often bear the double burden of work and caregiving and he pledged to change.

“That moment gave me hope,” Thamali says. “I felt like we were finally a team.”

With her husband’s support, Thamali returned to her dress-making with renewed determination. She now confidently manages her time, balancing her business, family and self-care. Her enterprise is slowly expanding, and she dreams of opening a small shop where she can employ another woman from her village.

“I once thought my dreams had to wait,” she says proudly. “Now I know that my happiness and success are just as important. I feel stronger and more confident every day.”

Why allyship matters

Samitha Sugathimala, FISD Programme Director says “Thamali’s story shows how empowerment becomes real when both women and men grow together. When men step forward as allies, it not only transforms families – it transforms entire communities.”

Echoing this sentiment, Ramaaya Salgado, UN Women Sri Lanka Head of Office, adds: “true gender equality requires partnership. Allyship is not just about support – it’s about listening, sharing power and challenging norms that hold women back. When women like Thamali rise, everyone rises.”

As the world marks the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, her story calls on men everywhere to become allies in equality. When women and men walk side-by-side – sharing the load, breaking old patterns and championing each other’s potential – the result is stronger families, safer communities and a more peaceful world.