Letter from Ma: “I realized that I had stopped dreaming a long ago”

Illustration: Miho Watanabe

Dear son,

Just like you, ma had a dream when she was a little girl. I wanted to go to school and become an educated woman. But I fell in love too young and dived into a relationship too soon. By the time I realized that I had made a big mistake, it was too late. Marriage meant the end of my school, and the love I found came with many struggles.

Baba [your father] was not very good at finding work. Sometimes he found work and worked for a day. And then he stayed at home for the next three days. Some days, I cooked one meal a day. Other days, I had nothing to cook. Baba was also becoming very mean to me. Covering bruises with clothing, I felt empty in my stomach and my heart. I realized that I had stopped dreaming a long ago.

Many women stay with their husbands even if the husbands give them more problems than good things. I also stayed with baba. I had no job, no money and no house without him.

One day, a neighbour told me about people who help women like me. When I met them, they welcomed me and showed me a place called Tarango’s shelter house. Inside, many women had problems similar to mine, and they were all busy learning skills – to get jobs, earn money, and become independent. I joined them.

I learned tailoring to become a professional tailor so I can make money even if baba struggles to find work. Learning – whether it's in school or outside of schools - opens many doors for each of us. Through my training I learned not only skills but also to make decisions that matter to me, and live a life that is mine. At Tarango’s shelter house, I started to dream again.

I started karate training to protect myself. In between kicks and punches, I felt like I was breaking the wall of silence I trapped myself inside for so long. During counselling sessions, I learned how to cope with stress and ways to protest things I doesn’t approve of, even to baba. I was ready to stand up against baba’s behaviour. One day, when baba was nasty to me, I showed my karate techniques that I had been learning for three months! Baba was surprised, but he also realized I was changing. From that day, baba started changing slowly.

I told you that at Tarango’s house, I started to dream again. My biggest dream is to send you to school for as long as possible. I can do that now that I continued to learn and gained new skills to pay for your tuition fee. And I know that I can make all my dreams come true.

With love,

Ma